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Sakasa's Journal!

Jesus saves our souls and then trades them for valuable prizes!

Sakasa Jin'ei

Money and status, cars and houses, precious jewelry, lovers and friends; being human means going through life stealing precious things and having precious things stolen from you in return. That’s the kind of desperate hopeless creatures human beings are. If what gets taken from you is money and/or things, you could probably get it back. But if it is something else entirely, something like warmth and humanity, then the only thing that can fill up the cavern inside your heart is another human being who holds the same emptiness.

Family Members on LJ

giabasstripp - My Nephew, Jose!
kawaii_ryuichi - My little Sister, Corena!
nightfall404 - My English Hero, Richard!
fareme - My kindred Sister, Kelley!

Red Tears
By: Sakasa Jin’ei

Dark thoughts rummage through my interior
Replaying the memory of it all
No one else is to blame
For my reasoning has left me very small

On the outside I am as calm as a stream
Frightened by your judgment
All that is now is all but a bad dream
This inner demon should be slain

Do not tell me what is right or wrong
I know these things already
So let me sing my mournful song,
Strong and steady

On the inside a storm rages
Like a whirlwind in my head
A battle of the psyche rages on
Till all but either mind or heart are dead

I will cut myself free from this darkness
And from what I feel restrains me
It is nothing but red tears leaving
What the eye can deceive you into believing

April 3, 2005 - Red Tears © Sakasa Jin’ei

Sakasa Jin'ei Insider: Mentality and Personality!

She can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider her to be extremely sensitive and emotional. She may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. She is concerned about rejection and ridicule, which causes her to feel shy and uncomfortable around others. She often experiences panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress.

She is neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. She enjoys time with others but also time alone. People generally perceive her as distant and reserved, and she does not usually reach out to others. She tends to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. She often needs privacy and time for herself. She tends not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups.

As a practical person she likes to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe her as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. She is a moderately imaginative person who enjoys a good balance between the real world and fantasy. She is reasonably interested in the arts but is not totally absorbed by them. She has good access to and awareness of her own feelings. She likes the security of tradition, but sometimes has a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking.

People see her as tough, critical, and uncompromising and she has less concern with others' needs than with her own. She generally sees others as selfish, devious, and sometimes potentially dangerous. She believes that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. She is guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about herself.

She will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of her time she feels that they are imposing on her. She is not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get her own way. She is willing to take credit for good things that she does but she doesn’t often talk herself up much. She is tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and is easily moved to pity.

She likes to live for the moment and do what feels good now. She has a reasonable amount of will-power and is able to follow through on tasks that she feels she needs to complete. She can be distracted however and has been known to procrastinate. She is not an overly cautious person. She will think about alternatives and consequences but makes up her mind fairly quickly.